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Dear Lesbian Life:

Lesbian woman in a relationship with another woman. It has been together for about two years and is very happy together. However, we have disparate sex drives. She wants sex more often than I do and feels rejected when I do not respond to her advances. Part of the complication is that I seem to forget how much I enjoy sex with her except when we are having it.

I know that my non-responsiveness hurts her and she has recently mentioned that it has made her think of seeking adult personals out other lovers that will reaffirm her desirability. Before we became partners, she had polyandrous relationships.

Lesbian Woman In a Relationship

Should I Initiate Sex?

I have thought of initiating sex or responding to her advances despite not being in the mood for it but she says that I should not, as such would be insincere. We have both agreed that she could pleasure herself in moments when I do not want sex but she is not able to climax through masturbation and so masturbating only makes her feel defeated. Sex is important to my dating personals partner; I know this situation hurts her very deeply and makes her feel less desired. Do you have any advice?

Dear Insincere

Perfect Lesbian Sex Dating

Let’s pretend for a moment that it wasn’t sex that your girlfriend was interested in, but baseball. She was a big fan when you met her and you never really gave much thought to the game. She dragged you to a game and after you were there, you had a good time. Even though you would probably never go to a game by yourself, you enjoyed sharing the experience with your dating services girlfriend, you loved seeing how happy it makes her and you even got into the game a little, liking the crack sound of the bat hitting the ball, seeing the outfielders dive for pop flies and drinking beer outside on a warm summer night.

Let’s say you surprise your girlfriend for her birthday with tickets to the Red Sex. Would she think you insincere for giving her this gift? No, she would be happy that you were paying attention to her desires and attempting to fulfill dating services them.

Lesbians with Little Sex Drives

Should You Initiate Sex?

It’s the same with your sex life. If you read the letters from other lesbians, then you know that many couples have differing sex drives. It’s not insincere to initiate sex with your partner or to respond to her advances, even if you’re not always in the mood. It’s what we do for each other. As a matter of fact, one of the things I recommend for any couples dating who is suffering from lack sexual intimacy is to make regular sex dates. Couples do all kinds of things for each other to make the other partner happy. It’s not insincere. It’s part of being in a relationship.

This is where you need and your partner need to make a decision. Are you willing to give non-monogamy a try and let her sleep with other women? Is she will to risk losing you and your couples dating relationship to have a more fulfilling sex life? No one can answer these questions but the two of you. The most important thing is that you are both able to be honest about your needs and desires.

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This entry was posted on Thursday, March 4th, 2010 at 9:37 am and is filed under dating personals, Lesbian dating, online dating.

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